January 2nd 2011 I walked to the drug store with my husband to buy a new chew toy for my grandad. That's right. My grandad used chew toys. He had Alzheimer's, may he rest in peace. On impulse I bought a pregnancy test.
Being a long time pregnancy hypochondriac, this was not an altogether rare occurrence for me. In fact, just about every month when my boobs get sore and my hormones start raging, I mentally categorize every time that we have had sex in the last 28 days and if/when he pulled out and convince myself that it's possible that some little seed has implanted itself in my womb. For the most part, though, I manage to talk myself into waiting until I'm "late" (which I never am), before wasting our hard earned money on a stick to urinate on... Not this time. This time I was due to see red in two days time, but I decided I just HAD to know right then.
Well, you can all guess how this story ends- BFP! (Big F***ing Positive... Or maybe Big Fat Positive. I'm not really sure, but BFP is what they call it on all my online preggo forums).
This is not my first time at the rodeo- well, technically, if I were at a rodeo, it would be my first time. I'm not a huge proponent of animal cruelty... But that's another blog for another day- What I mean is I've been pregnant before. And even before I was pregnant the first time, I was a mom. I have an adopted 9 year old and a biological 4 year old. (And I feel compelled to tell you that custody battles, homestudies, supervised visits, lawyers fees, stress and waiting for that day in court to be legally pronounced a mother is definitely the easier way to go!)
My last pregnancy was not a fun experience, but I convinced myself that it was due to stress and working and all kinds of other fun things happening in my life at that time. This time was going to be different! I am a stay at home mom. I am a warrior! I am going to enjoy this experience. My last and best pregnancy!
Two weeks after the BFP, I started puking. Two weeks after that I realized that I was NEVER going to stop throwing up. I woke up in the morning and ran to the bathroom wretching. I made breakfast for my kids and stopped twice to dry heave, seeing as how there was nothing left to be spewed into my toilet. I ate a few small bites of anything that looked like it might stay down, and then promptly threw that up. I spent the first 20 weeks of this pregnancy taking anti-nausea meds, (that are really just "anti-the-ability-to-puke-and-feel-better-but-still-be-nauseated-at-all-times" meds), and throwing up, and force feeding myself protien, (bye bye vegetarianism), and moaning and begging for it all to end- That's right I'm a baby. But if you have ever cracked a rib from puking so violently, or dislocated a shoulder whilst trying to pull your ravaged body off the bathroom floor you might beg to be put out of your misery too.
As my twenty four hour, seven day a week sickness finally began to ease up, my sweet little parasite started to beg my forgiveness by allowing me to feel some small kicks and thumps and rolls and eventually acrobatics! And that's about the time I started having contractions regularly. And instead of begging for it all to end, I began to beg the universe to let it STAY!
Magnesium, Nephedipine, prgesterone, labor and delivery trips, switching from my home birth midwife to a team of prematurity specialists at the University Hospital, partial bedrest and and general stubbornness have gotten us from 22 weeks to 33 weeks.
The Buddhas that came to help my grandad's spirit move on from this life told me that my baby will be here in about 2-3 weeks, and I believe them! I guess we'll see soon enough!
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